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“I fear for your heart. You are not trapped my love, but you simply lack the courage to leave this man. Yes, I judge you, but you must agree that my judgment is not harsh. I acknowledge there are far too many things going against you here, but please don’t be fooled for a second; your man is a master!

“His love has turned to spurn. He is vindictive, and relishes seeing you suffer in your polluted space. He’s suffered for years now, you say. So why wouldn’t he want to see you go through the same? The silent treatment is but a preamble, the actual taming is yet to begin. I say these things because your confidence is an illusion, he’ll never let you go. Your situation is wearisome; heck, just talking with you wears me out. These extremes you both take each other to can’t be healthy. He may as well put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. Tell me again darling, what’s your crime? What have you done to this man that has him in such a monstrous rage?                                                                                                                                                                      `

You stopped loving him! How does love ever stop? Love never stops, woman, but desires shift. You must shoulder some of the blame for all of this. You allowed him for so long to manipulate you to a point of madness, and now you want sanity? How in the world do you think this is remotely possible? Sorry darling, but you are a prisoner now. Your only redemption would be a breakaway. Are you willing to go that far? Damn the consequences, defy your family, friends, children and all these outside factors that you use as reasons for allowing yourself be buried alive?

Until you answer these questions honestly and with conviction, I’m afraid you will either submit or…”

  • ••

Taylor Davis paced about. The room was big, but she walked about just within a two-step radius. She heard him. For the first time in six months she actually comprehended what he said. These are the very same words he’d been telling her since she told him she had begun to see a therapist. He had smiled gently, pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. When he finally raised his head, he began slowly: “I’m going to tell you exactly what your $150 an hour shrink will say to you darling. He’s going to tell you to free yourself.” She looked at him puzzled by what seemed to her like mockery. That began his stance on her life and what drama unfolded each day. Those words came out differently today, or was it her imagining things? Had she undergone a brain transplant in her sleep and awoken a new woman?

He didn’t miss a thing, what he said was exactly what the therapist had said. She’d made a mental note to punch him in the mouth when next they met; and she did just that. Fredrick Mann was not the sort of man a woman punches and gets away scot-free. He trapped her hands with one of his, licked the blood from his lips, and proceeded to tear off her blouse. Yes, he ripped it off, and pounced on her breasts. Overcome by lust and passion, she helped him with the rest. With reckless abandon, he took her. That day, he simply pushed her over the table and entered her. No words were said, just thrusts and moans. He was brutal one minute, thrusting as though he was punishing her for making him wait so long, and suddenly he would relent. With an incredible gentleness, he pushed in, showering peppered kissed on the nape of her neck, as soft gasps escaped from her. This was heaven and hell. On that last thought, she felt him shiver, and soon the shiver intensified as he climaxed and slumped on her back.

Today she came not for the usual poison as they now called their affair. No, today she popped in to tell him yet again that she knew for sure she was going to hell; at least that was what everyone said. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, he’d placed his fingers on her lips. “Shh, let me talk a while,” he said, and repeated his usual speech.

They’d been doing this for the last year and half, meeting for forty five minutes and ranting about life, love and work. On days when time allowed, they would make love on the sofa and she would put her head on his chest and listen to the gentle thuds of his heartbeat.

  • ••

Today she paced. No words formed in her head, and none came out her lips, today. Taylor Davis was speechless for the first time in her life!




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Being mama to seven kids is indescribable. The joy, chaos and sheer madness of my life is something. Though overwhelming at times, I still would not trade this for anything else.
I live a life on a treadmill and as years crept by my most common mantra has been, “I’M SO TIRED.”

I say this so much so often, that one day out in Ambrose Park, I stopped in my tracks. It was on one of my walks during which I have my daily one on one with the Father.

It dawned on me at that moment that I reinforced and gave much power to fatigue, that I became hostage to the same fatigue by my ever so loyal and persistent declaration. Amusing, is how something so real in one’s life is made ever so powerful by the daily acknowledgement it’s given. From that moment, I decided I would do my best to use the positive to describe my very glaring reality. Yes, I do get tired, but the affirmations did not help eliminate or change the situation.

My day mostly begins at 5am. It has been this way for quite a long while. 5am is when morning devotion is done. As years went by the practice stuck. Mind you, most times I would just lie in bed and ponder on the day’s chores, appointments and work. By the time I eventually got up, it would be 6am when my high schooler’s begin their daily routine for school.

They leave home by 6:30 to catch the school bus for 6:45, and that is when I get up and head to Ambrose Park. It usually takes 30 minutes to do the two mile walk, that’s eight times around the park. This is my most valued time. Time to catch up with those questions and requests placed before the Father; and also listen intently to perhaps ‘hear’ a response. Crazy, yeah, but we all have our moments.

By the time I pull into the drive, it’s usually 7:05am. If I’m lucky, Eyo’s alarm got her up, and she’s getting ready for her little cousin’s arrival so they can take the five minute walk to school together.

“Good morning mama.” Eyo would call out as I head towards my room to prepare for work. By 7:25, Eyo and Jordan are grabbing granola bars or juice downstairs and their “bye” I hear from my room. Minutes later, it’s about 8:10am and I’m ready to head out. But not before making sure the twins are up and getting ready for middle school. They are usually the last to leave because school starts at 9am.

So there you have it, the family’s daily grind except for the few odd days when life happens. As I drive to work in traffic which sometimes takes twenty-five to thirty minutes, I visualize how to tackle tasks awaiting me and then the mental fatigue begins.

As the day runs its course, if I’m lucky, work stays within the confines of the office. If not, I find myself out in the field which entails driving numerous miles to meet with clients. This aspect of my work makes me miss my home country, where I’m able to afford a driver…

Returning home from work, I still have to satisfy the duty of mother, wife and everything else. One of the most consuming aspects of my world is cooking. I cook every single day. My children eat for England, and they don’t play!

Heading through the door I head straight for the kitchen. I wash my hands and work my magic. By the time I’m done, it’s about 7:45 or 8pm. everyone comes and takes a seat and within minutes, they clean out the lot. They hold no prisoners; both them and their papa. Around this time I make myself comfortable on the sofa and would be passed out within a microsecond. No one wakes me because once woken, I may not sleep again until the wee hours…

Despite the craziness of my world, there are days which stand out and leave me glowing inside. This particular day was somewhat off. I was returning home from work; tired and irritable. I was out to bite heads off. I barely drove into the driveway when a splatter of rain hit the windscreen. I got into the house before the skies turned gravel grey and a heavy downpour ensued.

An hour went by of rain drumming against the rooftop. The kids were starving and didn’t want the jellof rice from yesterday.

“Why can’t we just go to McDonald? Please mama?” Eyo was their mouthpiece. I didn’t relish the idea of parting with $30, besides it was still coming down hard— I had an excuse.

“But we all have wellies mama and umbrellas too.” Eyo quipped. I shot her a daggered gaze. A tidal wave was surging inside me. I grabbed my umbrella and ran back outside with giggling voices following behind me.

Still feeling sore about having to go out in the rain, I headed out as I normally would and tried to adjust the wiper blades to give better visibility. Within a few minutes I was parked outside the restaurant.

“We said McDonald mama, not Burger king!”

Eyo exclaimed and I shot her a cold stare. The twins whispered to keep quiet. “…we’re getting food, that’s all that matters.”

I turned off the engine and the girls jumped out. I grabbed my umbrella and embraced the rain. Instead of going through the doors, the girls were headed back towards me accompanied by a young man with a broken umbrella. He struggled against the wind and rain to keep the umbrella above his head.

“Please mama can we help him?”

The twins said in unison. Was he homeless and needed food? A closer look told me otherwise. He was well dressed and probably between twenty-four or five. This could be Philip, my oldest child asking for help.

“Good evening ma’am. Please I need help to push my car. It’s stuck in a ditch right there.” He pointed to a blue car on the far right, about four minutes away.

“Lead the way.” I said and we all followed him without any shade against the wind or rain. The combination of these two elements had contorted our umbrellas into a fine mess. By the time we had our hands on the rear of the car, we were drenched and shivering.

The young man got in behind the wheel. It was a Chevy Impala, a new car by the looks of it. I told him to place the gear in neutral while we pushed. We pushed and pushed, but the car was like a deep-rooted stump in the middle of a tick forest. It would not budge. The young man got out and tried to push with us, still no joy.

It was still coming down heavy, and we were all out of breath. I asked if he had AAA, but he shook his head. I thought of calling their papa, but he was in Humble Texas for a meeting. Frustrated and tired, the young man resolved to call a wrecker, which would mean a bill nearing $270 which he didn’t have.

The most disheartening aspect of this entire incident was that people drove past us without stopping to help. No one saw it fit to stop and help a woman with three young kids and a young man. I became infuriated, and much more determined that we succeed. I was thinking the girls would be too cold and ready to give up. They were keen on making sure the young man got home. Tai, one of the twins suggested we pushed backwards and this time, he should actually start the car.

The young man got back into the car, and it was then we noticed the right passenger side tire was stuck between a deep ditch and the road curb. It was filled with muddy water. The engine turned and was put in reverse. We pushed with all the strength we had left. The wheel just spun without any grip, splashing muddy water everywhere. Those closest to the tire caught most of it, but something else happened.

“It moved! The car moved! Push! push!” Tai Screamed.
The scream sparked life in us and we pushed. Like magic, the car moved clear of the ditch and came to a stop on level ground. The shouts of joy and laughter that followed were like the sun had come out to brighten and warm a dreary day. The girls hugged each other and the young man joined them in a group hug. He was glowing.

He walked over to me and gave me hug. “Thank you so much ma’am. I asked quite a lot of people for help, but they all said they were in a hurry. My name is Steven Brady; I’ll never forget today, or you and your girls.” I smiled and shook his hands. “It was our pleasure Steven Brady, now go home before you catch your death!”

He laughed and got into his car, waved once more and joined Hwy 6 south, and soon, he was out of our sight.

We shuddered when we got into Burger king. It was like walking into an ice box and our clothes clung like glue to us. A middle aged Spanish woman walked up to us and gave us a whole roll of paper towel. “We watched what you did Ma’am, we couldn’t come out to help, but you and your kids did a really good thing out there. I’ve turned the air off so you don’t feel too cold okay.”

We smiled and thanked her. The paper towel helped. We dried off as best as we could, and then placed our orders.  As I watched my children eat minutes later, they were back to their usual selves. Laughing, talking about school, their friends and pretending the straw wrappers were snot. Typically of children, they had moved on and never gave the incident a second thought. I was still in awe of what had just happened. I looked at my watch and realized it had taken us a good 35 minutes to free Steven Hollis’ car.

When they had eaten and taken soda refills for the road, Kenny, the other twin said, “Mama, do you think perhaps, we ended up here instead of going to McDonald’s, just so we could help Steven?”

Her words jolted me and I nodded. A warm feeling grew inside me, filling me with pride. Yeah, this is my kid alright! I laughed out loud.

“You bet baby, you bet!” I said.


Sugar! Sugar! Sugar…..

Aunty’s voice echoed angrily in the hush of that afternoons scorching heat, as I hid in further in the back of the hedges along the fence of the Boys quarters. If I dared answer, I would get the scolding of my life for sure, it would be the third time this month and I was not prepared for the sting of her lips.

Lately, the back window of the last room in the Boys quarters, had become my favorite place to be. I listened intently, but she had stopped bellowing. Thank goodness! The woman had a lung on her. On really quiet days, one could hear her as far as the fields of the Navy Village, and that was a good three and a half blocks away.

I was safe for now and the reason for my present predicament, was also about to resume my education. I peered once again through the tiny hole of the stained window, and my jaw dropped.

There she was, sprawled on the queen sized bed half naked, caressing her breast and a very strange look that bordered on sleepiness if you asked me.

Sister Maria did not look like her usual timid self, she was definitely possessed by some spirit, because the woman lying with her legs flung wide apart as she beckoned on poor agitated Okon to come to her, was not the same who was hardly audible when talking.

“Madam will call me soon Maria, I don’t like this you know, I said tomorrow will be better”.Okon protested, backing away from the bed. With alacrity, Sister Maria jumped up, and was soon between him and the door. Her little flowery dress was completely off now, as large over sized breasts bounced literally in Okons face.

“You know why madam makes too much noise over you Okon…she wants you for herself, greedy cow!. Besides, the witch is busy looking for Sugar, that should keep her occupied for about twenty minutes baby…that’s more than enough time to make me happy abi?”

She quickly pulled her panties off, and I gasped again. Her pubic area was bald, not a single hair was in sight and she took his hands and rubbed on it. Okon shivered, as a huge bulge suddenly appeared and his trousers looked  ready to burst open.

I let out a huge breathe, catching myself because it was quiet loud. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath all along. These two were showing me life and it’s mysteries like I had never known or imagined. My eyes hurt from the squinting, so I switched sides quickly, afraid I would miss out on something.

Repositioned and in better view now, Okon was naked from the waist down. That thing between his legs was a monster…It was long and thick, tiny veins ran along it and it dangled menacingly in front of him, as sister Maria smiled and got on her knees.

I wondered what the hell she wanted to pray about at this critical time, and then she grabbed his penis and opened her mouth.


That came out before I could stop it, but Okons moan of pleasure drowned out my gasp of shock, while sister Maria managed to take the entire length of him into her mouth.

I could not believe my eyes. She liked and pulled him up and down like a lollipop sweet, and at first, I thought she was hurting him, because his face contorted to a rather ugly and painful twist. But just as she began to suck harder on him, making a grunting and pulling sound as she worked, his face relaxed and he held on to her head. He began jerking almost violently at it, back and forth, while she sucked and grunted greedily, as if she was eating the most deliciously treat.

My poor legs ached from bending down and to my horror, my panties was also soaked in some gooey liquid.Panicked, I stood up and reached for my private part, and indeed, all my fears was confirmed. Strange slimy secretion had oozed out from me, and a strange tingle had also ensued. My private area was throbbing and I had an incredible desire to rub it, caress it. Next thing I know, my hand is down in my panties and I begin to rub and pull on my thing.

“ooh…ooh…mariaaaa!” Okon’s ecstatic outburst threw me off, as I rushed to peer in once again.

There she was still on her knees, with  creamy liquid all over her serene smiling face, and Okon still vibrating from the turbulent of goodness only knows. He shook and vibrated like one possessed, but with a huge grin on his handsome face.

“quick, hurry up and go Maria, we’ll see tonight okay. I love you baby, you know that don’t you?” He added, a tender smile lighting up his face as he pulled Maria to her feet and kissed her lips.

“I know you do, but you also love this pussy more don’t you?” She teased as she wriggled back into her dress and slipped out into the blazing sunlight.

I was used to these two by now, and all the baby and love they called each other. I have been sneaking out to spy on them for the last five weeks, and each time, it never went past the caresses and kissing. Today took my lessons to a whole new level and it was clear my tutors were also advancing into a higher level of learning.

I watched sister Maria dash across to the main house, sure that no one saw her coming in from the Boys quarters, she hid a smile as she went inside. I took a final peek into the room and Okon slowly began to put his trousers back on. The monster of a few minutes ago, was now a tame flaccid shrimp. Who would have thought?

I waited for him too to leave the room. When he did, I heard him walked the other way to the side gates in the front of the house, he was probably going to buy a cigarette now…he always did that after his meetings with sister Maria.

I smelled like pussy. That was what Sister Maria called it wasn’t it? Pussy! I liked the sound of that, and also the smell of pussy. I watched the compound for a while, sure there was no one about, I quickly dashed across and sneaked back into the house. It was almost five o’clock and my lesson teacher would be calling soon, so I took a quick shower, and waited once more for the witch to bellow for me.


“sugar, Sugar…You can’t ell me you didn’t hear me call the first time Sugar, your insolence is getting out of control. Your tutor is here!”

Aunty Jennifer does not know the meaning of subtle. The woman had to yell like a drill sergeant else it would not seem to her that she was making a point. I secretly pitied her though, she had a rather rough future ahead for her because my step brothers, twenty eight months old triplets would definitely give her a run for her money.

“Coming Aunty, I’m just getting my school bag” I answered so she would not burst into my bedroom to retrieve me physically.

Sugar is my nick name, mom and dad started calling me that right after birth I was told, and it has pretty much stuck. I vaguely remember my mom, she died when I was four and daddy married the wicked witch of the east.

Like Sugar took over my name, so has sister done to Maria. I call her sister maria because she’s older than I am and aunty Jennifer made sure to remind me of the consequences that would follow, if I ever failed to do so.

“You children of today lack manners and respect for your elders”  she quipped, eyes bulging as she stared me down. So from the very start of her coming to live with us, I have always called her sister Maria.

The way she screwed up her face each time she called me, one didn’t need to guess it just killed Aunty Jennifer to call me Sugar! She would rather call me sour, I can swear to that fact. I always tell daddy of her manhandling,verbal abuse and really gross punishments, but all he would say is to give her a break.

“It’s not easy to deal with four children you know Sugar, you should help your mother a little” I cringe when ever he says that….the witch is no mother of mine!

Mr Akinbola is a nice man, a really great tutor. He’s my maths teacher in school also. I’m really bad at maths. I don’t get it and I don’t like it. My brilliant dad figured it would do me good to get extra coaching at home, hence this tutoring thing. I must admit I think he’s right, I’m beginning to actually grasps the concept of the subject. And as I said, Mr Akinbola is a really good teacher.

“There you are Petra, why didn’t you come to school today?” Mr Akinbola did not look up from whatever he was writing as he spoke to me, something he does rather often.

“Good evening sir, I went to the dentist and afterwards, my step mother had to take my little brothers to the pediatrician. How was class today sir? Did I miss much?”

“Did you miss much you ask Petra? you are a very funny girl indeed. Of course you missed much! I will have to speak with your Father about this. You are struggling as is Petra, no more missing class you hear me? Now, let’s see what you did with yesterdays homework shall we”

I quickly placed my work book on the table as he scanned from top to bottom, nodding his head along and the odd occasional frown thrown in. I was pleased, at least today he did not break out in Yoruba flabbergasted.

“You are a brilliant girl Petra, just lazy in mathematics, but before the end of the school year, I will have you in shape, that’s a promise” He was extremely pleased and I didn’t know why. He said I did very well and that was okay with me.

The next hour was spent calculating and figuring out equations. Mr Akinbola unfortunately did eventually switch to Yoruba, calling on his fore fathers to rescue him from gross ineptitude. It would be safe to say that he was elated when I finally understood what he had spent the last forty odd minute explaining patiently to me. Did I mention my main reason for liking this man was his patience? Yes, anyone who could successfully explain mathematical concepts and equation to me, without killing me or inflicting bodily harm on both me and self, is indeed an incredibly patient human.

“We will be having a test on what we studied today Petra, I expect an A from you, and that’s an order!”

“Yes sir! I’ll do my best sir, I promise. I replied calmly,as I watched the man pack up his bag ready to leave.

“Aah Mrs Kalu, we just finished here, how are those handsome boys of yours?” Mr Akinbola was facing the living room now, and aunty Jennifer had darkened the doorway again, just in time before he left. She always anticipated some sort of complaints against me, and each time, she came out short.

Faking a smile was second nature  to Aunty,and to form, she flashed her signature and carried on animatedly with Mr Akinbola for a while, until he eventually managed it to the front door and escaped.

I dashed for my bedroom the second their backs were turned and locked myself in. It was almost six twenty and daddy would be home anytime now, so I had a few minutes to myself before dinner time.

Sister Maria was in charge of the kitchen most days, except for nights when she had lecture at the state university. On those nights, Aunty Jennifer was madam of manor true and true. My room over looked the back of the house and from my window, the entire farm land of the Naval village made a very picturesque scene. I stood there momentarily and pondered on the night as Okon had said, it was all I could think about, and how I would manage to sneak out for the session promised.

Lost in the greenery and my thoughts, I didn’t quite hear them calling for me. They must have done so for a long time, because the thumping on my door, sent me flying across the room.
“Sugarrrrr! you had better be dead in there because I’ll personally strangle you, the instant this door is opened.”

Aunty Jennifer was incensed, and no sooner had I opened the door, she launched at me. Pulling me by the wrist, she literally dragged me half way toward the dinning room.
“Take it easy aunty, my arms hurt.” I blurted out angrily, struggling to detach my wrists but her grip was quite firm.

Sister Maria’s disapproval was written all over her face, but she wouldn’t dare say a word, her big sister’ Medusa stare would have surely turned her to stone. Poor daddy, he looked so tired, I almost wished for his sake this particular evening would just rewind and I would hear and answer them:Perhaps save everyone from the rage of the century currently displayed by my evil step mother.

“That is quite enough darling you know how these teenagers can be”, Daddy said looking at her lovingly, and she reluctantly let go of my wrist.

” Gaa Gaa Gaa”  The cooing was from my adorable little brothers, who simultaneously started to babble upon seeing me. At least someone was happy to see me. I grinned at them as I sat between two of the chairs, and waited for the grown ups to say grace.

I may as well have chewed rubber that evening because the food tasted like saw dust and by the way her eyes darted from her plate to her mobile phone, I knew sister  Maria also would rather be somewhere else than at that table.

Daddy and his wife made small talk and the triplets cooed louder as they threw carrots and peas all over the place. After about fifteen minutes or so, I asked if I could be excused and daddy nodded with a grunt. Aunty Jennifer eye balled me, while sister Maria eyed me with envy. she would be trapped there for another twenty minutes or so, forced to listen to her sister rant and politely answer daddy’s question about her lectures, while she also tried to contain the triplets enthusiasm on food throwing.

I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. There was nothing to watch on television to occupy my mind because I lost viewing privileges two weeks ago, and my ear phone had been stolen last week in school. With nothing to do, I stared at the wall, desperately struggling to blank out images of naked Okon and sister Maria from my head.

The house is finally quiet, it’s almost ten P.M , nothing but gentle night traffic noises and the light from the gate mans house is dimmed also. This was my cue to act. I tiptoed out to the corridor and safely made it out through the kitchen back door. The dim illumination from the stained window is indication that the lessons had begun, as my trembling feet carried me listlessly across the yard.

The spot I stay had a deep depression to the shrubs, probably from my bottom pressed against it, but it made a comfortable space for me. My eyes hit the queen bed as I peered in once again; and on it was Sister maria, her back to the wall facing Okon who stood looking at her. She began to undress and he watched her quickly take off her dress.

“Why do you stand there as if you are afraid to touch me baby, do you want me to leave? She was angry at him.

He laughed, a low throttle sort of laughter and bent down to gently pull her on the ankle towards the edge of the bed.

“What’s your rush Maria? we have the night to ourselves, besides, I’m going to teach you how to love yourself and your body”. He pulled her panties off, and gently began to rub her private area. Sister maria closed her legs quickly and jumped to her feet. What the hell was wrong with her, I wondered, surprised at her reaction…was she not the amorous one?

“Don’t touch me there! She spat the words at him as if it was taboo for him to touch her, feel her.

Why? what a hypocrite! So what was the banana eating fest she did earlier in the day? what was that all about?
I could not wait to see where this was leading. Okon smiled, and gently pushed her back on the bed. Sister Maria turned out to be all mouth. Her bravado of the past weeks has been what she learned, maybe on television or book, at this point, I could safely assume that.

The genuine mixture of fear, and disgust on her face was proof this girl was no woman! In fact, she was just only a little better than me in the sexual prowls  department…okay a lot better, but she was still a wimp!

” Shh h…he whispered. Again, he spread her legs open and began to caress her pubic area. A soft moan escaped from her, and slowly, he lowered his head. He spread her labia open with  his hand, exposing red bulging flesh and with his tongue, he flicked the protruding flesh side to side. Sister Maria was out of control now and so was I. My breathing had escalated and my hands thrust deep inside my panties, rubbing vigorously against my throbbing loins.

Okon licked and sucked, pulled and tugged on Sister Maria’s thing until she began to tremble.

“Easy now baby, it’s too early for that” he whispered softly, reaching for her huge breast. His mouth found a nipple, as he buried his face between them, licking and sucking simultaneously from both breasts. Sister maria was near fainting. In all of this, there was still no penetration.

He lay beside her, gently pulled her on top of him and she literally sat on his face, and he began to eat again. My poor pussy was traumatized by now and so much slimy liquid had escaped, my panties were wet as though I had urinated on myself, so I pulled off my Pajamas and took the damn thing off. I could not imagine the pleasure this girl was receiving, sitting on top of Okons face.

I wanted to be right there, sitting on his face and moaning frenziedly like sister Maria, but I was too much of a wimp to put my finger all the way in. Imagine, to dis-virgin myself, that would be a sad,sad shame!

Sister Maria’s gyrating hips was fast, and her moans louder still. So much so that Okon stopped and cupped her mouth with his hands.

” Easy baby, you want your sister to send me packing tonight?”

Out of breath and drunk in lust, Sister Maria giggled.

“Make love to me” .

She pleaded, kissing his lips and tugging at his trousers, but he shook his head.

“Not until we say I DO Maria, now shut up and let me eat!”

I was officially in love! What? He would not hump her right there and then? Sister Maria had a body that would make any man commit. I mean it in every sense of the word. I see how even daddy looks at her sometimes, yet here she was, ready and begging, and this Okon person would not snatch her.

My hormone ridden fourteen years old body could no longer take the torture. Five solid weeks, I loyally followed these two through and for what? Only to be left hanging! I waited patiently to witness actual fucking, you know, pure lustful fuck fest because that was what their actions promised all along. How was I to know they were nothing but love thugs! At least he was, Okon the not until we say I DO freak!

“when is this happening Okon? Your famous I DO bid baby? when  will my evil sister acknowledge that you are capable of handling your business? Jesus, you are almost twenty seven years old. You are not a kid baby, why will you not take this to a solicitor? she needs to hand over your company to you already abeg, what sort of stupid will did your dad even leave sef”

Sister Maria was livid and I was completely lost on this new line of conversation they were having. As far as I knew, Okon worked for daddy and Aunty Jennifer in the company, I knew nothing else, other than the fact that he did everything in his power, not to ever be alone with Aunty Jennifer.

This entire sneaking out escapade was no longer going as I had hoped. They were becoming too serious for me now, and way less action. I stood up and mentally prepared myself for my dash back into the house. I suppose my education would have to slow to their pace. Like them, I had all the time in the world.






Broken – 1


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“It must be you! It has to be. How can everyone but you be wrong? Come on Eddie, we are family. How is it possible we all conspired to make you this miserable? We are the reason you misunderstand everything.” “We make it so difficult to talk to you!” Come on Eddie! Must we walk on egg shells around you? I’m sick of this! Deal with the consequences of your words. It’s all on you Eddie. Now get out of my office!”

I took a final look at her face and saw defeat. She was done with me. At this point I switched off. I felt hollow inside. The pain centered on my heart, making it difficult to breathe. I ran out of the office and bumped into someone as I pushed through the door, blinded by tears. I could not make out who it was.

Out on the grounds, I slowed down and made my way to one of several benches scattered about. My heart still thumped. I took slow deliberate breaths, counting to five as I exhaled before inhaling again. Gradually my breathing returned to normal.

“Are you okay? Tell me what to do. You need something to drink? How about home? Let’s go home.”

The voice was all too familiar; it was Caleb, my lover and best friend for the last twenty years.  I persuaded him to accompany me to work just so I had a witness. He came along reluctantly. He never wants to come between my sisters and me.

He sat beside me pulling me gently into his arms. A slow smile crept up my lips. I nestled my head upon his chest. At the same time, I felt relief, and yet sorrow engulfed me. Unlike me, he was calm. His heartbeat was gentle and I felt my worries ease away.  He caressed the small of my back and I wondered how he was able to understand my family better than I did. I placed my arms around him and squeezed.

He proposed once again last night…. “Something wrong with me mango, or am I a sucker for punishment? Either way I long to call you my wife, so please mango, marry me.”

I remember looking away. I didn’t look at the ring or his face. I don’t quite remember saying the words, but my voice said, “Yes, why not? You’ve asked long enough.”

“And I would have asked another twenty years mango, until you said yes. Right now, why not sounds like heaven! Not the yes I expected, but one I’ll accept anyways.”

The joy in his voice made me put aside the pain I felt. I savored his happiness.

What a strange man… four miscarriages and one still-born. Still he’s remained undaunted, unwavering and still wanting me. I on the other hand had become numb over the years. He says it’s life playing out.

“…It’s you I want Eddie. I want you and everything you have to give.”
“Can’t you see I’m damaged? I can’t even carry a baby long enough for it to draw breath. A man needs a son and a daughter. Evidence that you were and are, and I can’t give you either.”
I was lost in thought during this last conversation, I was not conscious of him picking me up from the sofa. He twirled me around and I retched.

“Put me down this instant you maniac, I’m about to vomit!”

If he heard, he gave no indication. He twirled me around even more, muttering to himself, until my 145 pounds of flesh, began to weigh on him. Then he did put me back down on the sofa and held my hands within his. There was nowhere else to look beyond my reflection in the wells of his amber eyes.
“Eddie?” His voice jolted me back to the bench.

Yes, my sweetness. Home would be fine.” I fidgeted with the solitaire around my finger as I got off the bench. My sisters, neither of them noticed it. Myopic minds…I could not wait to get home.



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We saw things in the same light

In a past not so long dead.

Then my vision began to dim

On the afternoon of my life.


Now we’re apart, seeing life in different colors

From angles in opposition to each other,

Shifting perspectives in the beginning unnoticed.

Used to be we counted on love

And its power of clarity,

The love that has now shifted,

Demanding to be measured ,

Love which was a single flow of united hearts,

Constant, caring, and patient,

Now must be measured, quantified!


We’re now words, confused new words,

Words thrown in desperation and anger,

Words that weaken the will,

And leave our souls in chains.


Used to be all it took was a look or a touch

And all miseries miraculously melt away.

Alas silence now is left, cold stares

Boring into the back, screaming in the head.


All I feel now is numbness;

I’m numbed,

Yet numbness feels better than harsh words.

Words lash out, but I see lips only.

Used to be I felt it all, varying emotions

Heard loud and clear in happier years.

Ever since love became measurable

I’ve felt numbed, felt this numbness,

This feeling better than words.


Numbness is good, better than words…


Yet you groan

Thirst after righteousness:

your impossible quest

for holiness,

something better and rarer

than earth’s substance,



full of empathy.

your quest

for grief turned to joy!

you seek,

yet you groan in deep moans

for harvests that appear rotten.


Ada Agada is a Nigerian writer and Philosopher. He has written several novels and hundreds of poems.



I rise with the blues,

Triumphant in sadness

On this day

Of a red morning.

Red rays of a red morning

Are streams to waywardness

Like beautiful women spoilt silly

At the dawn of sublimest beauty.

Irresistible attraction of melancholy

On account of sensuous beauty

Seen in the glory of morning,

African sunrise!

Yet I’m being loved, caressed,

By the round eyes of sadness

That brings out sweetness

Out of unhappy lives.

Total despair I reject,

Humiliation before humanity I abjure!

I who am victorious in sadness,

Revelling in the red rays of another morning,

As I shake off the blues

At the inspiring moment of action.

of beauty



Ada Agada is a Nigerian writer and Philosopher. He has written several novels and hundreds of poems.

Star Children and the New Humans – Reblogged from Ghostbusterbev

Star Children and the New Humans – By Ghostbusterbev

They walk among us. Star children are described as a hybrid species with mixed DNA of both human and extraterrestrial (ET) origin. Could they be the 5th root race that Edgar Cayce prophesied would appear around the year 2000? The mission of the Star children is to guide a global awakening of terrestrial consciousness, and these special children are rising to their calling around the world.

image courtesy of www.greatmindsoftoday.com

image courtesy of http://www.greatmindsoftoday.com

One thousand super psychic children have already been identified in China. In the Himalayas children are known to communicate in a strange sign language known only to them. After researching over 1600 cases through hypnosis and regression, Mary Rodwell refers to the Star children as the New Humans. One such well-known Star child, Tracey Taylor, says that she helps ETs to achieve their genetic goals, and in return they help her with healing and psychic abilities and to understand life on earth.

Tracey recalls having contact with celestial beings as early as age two or three. By age five she was flying around in UFOs, and at 15 had developed healing abilities, taught to her by alien beings. Tracey says that Star children continue to have communication with their cosmic family while in human form. Many of them have past life memories of life on other planets, and have amazing abilities, including an understanding of complicated geometric designs.

One five-year old Star child in Australia described the building of the pyramids this way: “They (celestial beings?) changed the density structure of objects large and small; they levitated the stones into place, and placed a crystal on top to communicate with other worlds.” One theory suggests that the rising number of children today with autism, aspergers, and ADHD point to multi-dimensional awareness and may well be part of the celestial program. Star children share similar traits:

Superior mental and analytical capabilities

Extreme sensitivity to thoughts and emotions

Photographic memories

Direct connection to higher awareness

Enhanced DNA

Fast motor neuron response

Non-verbal communication

Ability to absorb information quickly

Ability to see unusual beings and/or orbs of light

An urge to write and/or speak in unusual languages; communicate with unusual symbols; or draw strange artwork

Simon Harvey Wilson, Australian UFO researcher, discovered a comparison between UFO abductions and the modern day shamanic experience “where we are being challenged to transcend our fears to prepare for our multi-dimensional nature.” Russian research has shown that our DNA can be influenced and re-programmed by words and the right frequencies. Many Indigo and Crystal children are also feeling these changes in their physical and mental bodies. Delores Cameron (hypnotist and specialist in past life regression) confirms that our genetics are changing and that thousands of people are affected. The new humans eat less; have difficulty processing heavy, dense food; drink more liquids; have immunity to disease; and lighter bodies. Their brains are being upgraded and as a result they are remembering past lives and developing stronger intuitive/psychic abilities. Many of them struggle to fit in with earth life and consequently long to go home. All of them have a strong sense of mission.

image courtesy of www.crystalinks.com

image courtesy of http://www.crystalinks.com

Many adults and children worldwide have reported being taken by aliens to schools where they studied physics at the early ages of three and four, and of seeing lots of children there. Whitley Strieber, author of Communion, described his own experiences at these “Secret Schools” where he was taught how to manipulate time – “because learning how to use time as a tool is key to reaching higher consciousness and a real relationship with the beings.”

Mary Rodwell’s research indicated that the following classes are taught at these Secret Schools:

Quantum physics

New expanded states of consciousness

True history of man’s origins

The connection of all things


Healing and working with energy

New understanding of time

The spatial geometry of thought

Time travel and teleportation

Out of body training

New thought processors


Telepathy mind melds (going into minds and absorbing concepts; absorbing without reading pages and pages of information)

Parenting classes – Star children (and Crystal children) need to be dealt with in different ways because they see things differently.

courtesy of www.cosmostv.org

courtesy of http://www.cosmostv.org

ETs communicate telepathically with images and concepts, and ancient symbols appear to hold the keys to these concepts. Having been a Spiritual/Tarot Reader for many years now, I find this particularly interesting. When I lay the cards out in a reading, my mind scans the symbols in the cards and instantly begins the process of interpreting and transferring information. The symbols in the cards hold the keys to the ancient wisdom of the Universe. I understand from experience how easily the mind identifies with symbols and retains information, much longer than information absorbed from words. I studied shorthand symbols in high school 50 years ago and I still remember them to this day, but I only recall a few lines from Shakespeare’s sonnets!

One man who recalls his abduction as a very young child remembers being taken onboard a ship where he studied physics with other children. He never studied physics during his school years, yet he astounds others with his knowledge of physics. It makes you wonder how our world suddenly advanced to the computer age, and how young children of three and four compose complicated music scores and play instruments like maestros, and very young artists paint masterpieces. Are they attending these secret schools?

Researching and writing this post was a revelation for me. It gave me a better understanding of my own evolution and the changes I am experiencing in my own body and mind. Can you identify with any of these changes, and how are they affecting you?

191 – reblogged from serendipity


by Violet

We’ll never love like this again.
When this is over, we won’t be the same.

Because we might be writing new names into blank spaces but none of us are blank slates anymore. Relationships no longer start at square one. When you meet someone for the first time you’re meeting their every heartbreak, every lie, every broken promise. You’re left carrying all the baggage they should have left behind but stubbornly held onto till it molded them into this beautiful mess. You’re not just falling for the boy his mother raised him to be, but the collective wisdom of ten ex girlfriends and all the things they wanted him to change but he didn’t. You’ll discover the same flaws that made the last one leave and you’ll think the same thing she did- , “I’m different“. That was your chance to walk away. You should have known better.

Instead you’re wearing Ashley’s daring shade of lipstick and Stella’s dyed pixie haircut. You go out to dinner in Lindsay’s little black dress and you’re dabbing on Claire’s favourite brand of mascara. He never bores you with the details of what he loved about them. He’s a gentleman, and he politely pretends you’re brand new, even though every piece of you is a shadow of an ex-lover, and every kiss brings back memories of another. He walks you back to your apartment with his arm around your shoulders, and at the door you lean in to kiss him so hard he sees stars. You just wanted to feel something.

He’s touching your skin but tracing her collarbones, he’s losing himself in finer, gentler memories that you will never understand. You don’t tell him you’re a liar too, he doesn’t need to know you’re better at it. You don’t tell him you fell in love with the boy who smiled at you on the train and when you imagined kissing him your heart beat faster at the thought of betrayal. You don’t reveal the cheap thrills you indulge in when life gets boring and you don’t warn him that the best you’ll ever be is his biggest mistake. He doesn’t notice when you dig your roots into his veins and draw poison to quench a never ending thirst. He doesn’t know you sold your soul to the devil the first chance you got, and your leftover innocence won’t make up for the insanity.

You’ll never replace his first love, and when he doesn’t give you his heart it’s not out of cruelty, but he genuinely does not recall where he misplaced it. What is left is not enough to shatter, you are just the mirror of a mirror, barely leaving an impression. You foolishly poured out your soul at 2 AM in the dark, expecting his warm body to heat up your cold memories, and now you’re nothing but empty. He will miss you but that doesn’t mean he’s not relieved when you leave. He knows how to live without you, just like how he lived without all the others. Practice makes perfect.

You craved understanding but he never wanted to understand you. To get under someone’s skin, tear off the mask, feel their triumphs and their pain, it takes patience and precision. It takes kindness and blind faith. Neither of you had that luxury. It takes a special kind of optimism that diminishes with each round. You were not new to the game and nor was he. When you interrogated him for the last time and whispered “how could you do this to me“, he laughed and replied “you would have done the same“. You vow to never lose again.

When he disposes you he forgets to mention that it isn’t because you’re so disposable. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he really did love you. He just loved himself a little bit more, and at the end of the day you were both better at being alone. When the silence around you began to grow uncomfortable he felt shame for wasting your time. In time, you will thank him for leaving.

When you finally examine the past without a bruised ego blurring your clarity, you discover that every bruise was intentional, and you fought for anonymity because you wanted to be forgotten. You wore a suit of fake skin so you could slip out unseen when needed. Like a snake that can molt on command or the lizard that can detach its tail, you knew how to disappear without a trace.

Nothing feels worse than being left, nothing feels better than leaving.

A Selection of True Awakening Experiences (an ebook)


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A Selection of Awakening Experiences

A Selection of Awakening Experiences: Art: Kimberley Harding

Click To View/Download: A Selection of True Awakening Experiences 




Together with 33 magnificent bloggers here on WordPress we have created a free ebook:

A Selection of True Awakening Experiences – that we have written in order to help put our own life’s journey into perspective and inspire us on and to inspire the many hearts of Humankind to aspire to their own true and unique potential… to be the change they want to see in the world and help create a peaceful and loving world in which to live in harmony and cooperation with each other…

As an introduction to this inspiring collection of true stories I wrote the following:

2014 was approaching and I was inspired to ask my sacred friends to share an account of their life’s journey and in particular the moments of their awakening to who they truly were… What followed is something I couldn’t of possibly imagined… An incredible avalanche of unique beingness… has gently flowed through me for the whole month of January and into the middle of February 2014… As each new day arose and my friends posted their awakening journey, I felt my body consciousness (body, mind and spirit) expanding in knowingness, in love, in pain, in joy… Floating on a new high vibration and frequency, observing life… gaining new insights, perspectives that, to put it bluntly… exploded my whole being…

I came into a new space of acceptance, reverence and trust… Feeling the IAM speaking so individually and uniquely through each journey, yet resonating at the core of ALL was a new sense of passion and understanding… I felt a subtle shift of consciousness exposing ‘The Truth’… or is it that we are creating a ‘New Truth’… setting new standards to live as DivineHumanBeings here on Earth…

If we ALLOW ourself to be the new standards, living our passion and creating our hearts desire… to go where no one has ever been before… as an embodied ascended DivineHumanBeing… Can we bring into being… new potential… to be able to create together a peaceful and harmonious world here on Mother Earth?

I thank ALL my friends here on WordPress from the bottom of my heart and soul for making this a wonderful and enlightening experience…

To conclude this introduction, I have chosen some beautiful unique words that both resonated with me when reading and was inspired to write after each awakening experience was told…

Without the discovery of love, you can only talk small, judge and compare another…
It is your choice to journey into the depths of the divine…
Being the light, no darkness can penetrate you…
IAM GOD too… You are GOD too…

No more sleeping, but living your truth…
I feel, I exist…

I choose the games I play in life’s theatre…
Awakening to the feeling of pure joy and oneness of life that IAM connected to…
To experience life in the fullest sense is to trust self…

Living in Freedom Now…
Love of Self is at the core of ALL…
Feeling the humor, the sadness, the pain and the joy…
I feel the wisdom, acceptance and love that I gain through my experience…
IAM coming into my own crystalline structure of awakened light…

I have my own answers and signs that lead to the truth, my truth…
IAM a vital piece of a giant jigsaw…

Being, Allowing, Loving and Living in balance with ALL…

I recall pure bliss when I was in love, such an expansion of the heart with nature, and the universe. That exist within me and should be accessible at anytime, but is it?

To be awake, to be conscious, to be aware of what I truly feel…

Awakening to what I feel to be true…

Awakening to get myself untangled from the matrix web of ‘this is how it should be’ to a feeling of freedom…
Beingness disappears when I allow doubt to creep in…

Allowing myself to expand consciousness and raise my vibration to be a great representative of IAM… LOVE…

The physical self shattered to feel the ooze and soothing force of an underlying calm beingness…

You can awaken in a quantum leap now… if you so choose…

Awakening is a natural cycle, similar to that of the butterfly…

Once you are awake you can allow self to ascend, to be enlightened and walk tall as an embodied master…
A healing journey is to love self…

Let’s not allow words to separate you and take away your beingness and peaceful existence…

Releasing all the walls of protection that you have built up from such a young age…

Heal at your own pace, but persevere…

Awakening is simply waking up…

You are taking quantum leaps of faith to a new way of living in freedom, in love…

From blindly following old conditioned patterns of others to following how you feel in each moment…

To sing out loud, IAM free… IAM love… la…la…la
Keep living until you feel alive…
Emerging from a state of deep sleep…
Allowing self to expand consciousness…
Consciously living in the world being YOU…
Aligning our mind, heart and soul and opening self to love…

For my WordPress Friends who created this book with me…

For Further Details:

Barbara Franken



IAM Barbara Franken… Inspiring New Energy Consciousness…